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Most common fights couples have, according to a relationship therapist

The most common fights couples have aren’t regarding infidelity or childcare.

They’re relatively trivial things, like chores and social media, according to Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City.

Sussman explained that the fight isn’t so much about the issue itself as it is about a lack of communication. “If you’re someone who has really poor communication skills,” she told Business Insider, “that might mean that the minute your partner brings something up, you get very defensive, or you start with the ‘tit for tat.'” Which means that “no matter what you’re arguing about, that could escalate into a really big fight.”

Read more: 12 science-backed facts about cheating that all couples should know

Sussman described 10 of the most common sources of conflict among the couples she sees — and importantly, she said, working on your communication skills is the key to resolving them all. “If you can communicate well, you can get through these issues in a way that can actually bring you closer together,” she said. “And if you can’t communicate well, it makes it so much worse and can actually tear you apart.”

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About Jason Doughty

Jason M. Doughty writes for Investing and Strategy sections in AmericaRichest.

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